How To Argue With a Woman in a Way That She'll Love

How To Argue With a Woman in a Way That She'll Love

Man in current civilization has few hazards to deal with. Most of us are safe from predators (if you’re not, you’re reading the wrong how-to article), we don’t have to worry about the plague, and we can buy a grass-fed steak from Whole Foods without having to sharpen a spear and trek out into the savannah. One danger that has stood the test of time is females of our species. Particularly when it comes to fighting. Most men do not know how to argue properly.

As many probably do, I grew up believing that conflict of any kind was evil. If a man and a woman are arguing, their relationship must be dysfunctional. The reality is, while fighting isn’t necessarily a good thing, it is a mark of some level of intimacy. You don’t get into yelling matches with the barista at Starbucks (if you do, again, you’re reading the wrong how-to), you fight with people you’re close with. A fight itself is intimate. Both parties are taking off their polite masks to let their true emotions pour out.  Conflict can be a catalyst for intimacy.

Relationship arguments are the hottest because there is the most potential there. Fighting with a woman you care about doesn’t have to be a hazard. It’s actually an opportunity for deeper intimacy (and really hot make-up sex.) Follow these guidelines next time you argue with your woman and have her love you for it.


First, remember that its a game

An argument is a game in the most basic sense. Two players, you and her, act to affect and be at the effect of the other. Actually the argument is a small game within a much larger game that is your relationship, in whatever capacity. Even larger is the game you play with women as a whole, which only a certain caliber of man knows how to play.

To “play” doesn’t necessarily mean to take it lightly, it means to respond to every moment and let it take its course as opposed to treating it as “work.” Instead of trying to make something happen,  just try to keep the ball in the air. You might even find arguing to be fun.

Listen to Her Emotions Before Her Words

Many guys in an argument get caught in the trap of pointing out holes in her logic. Relationship arguments are emotional, not logical. Trying to prove her wrong factually is the wrong game. Even if you win, you lose.

Your argument is probably of some nonsense anyway. It’s quite rare that an argument between lovers is over something that actually matters. Beneath the story and circumstance you’ll see all arguments are some sort of emotional request.

For instance, once a woman told me something to the effect of “You’re not man enough to handle me.” I had the immediately impulse to say something...

On The Subject of Buttholes

On The Subject of Buttholes

Over the past few weeks I've become quite acquainted with my inner asshole. I don't mean the part of my psyche that's a jerk, I mean my literal, physical, anatomical asshole. I've been observing how the state of my rear affects my communication, sex, mood, and life. Let's start with the basics:

Tightening your ass is a method of numbing sensation

We use phrases like "you feel kind of tight," and "my boss is so anal" because we all inherently understand this psycho-somatic relationship.

I realized this week that I tighten throughout the day way more than I previously thought. Here are a few:

  • Emotional dismay: irritation, annoyance, judgment, jealousy.

  • Intellectualizing: trying to figure out problems or organize convoluted information.

  • Physically Exertion: awkward yoga poses, high rep exercise.

  • Sex: pulling for climax, whenever sensation gets really high.

Basically my butt involuntarily tightens anytime I'm out of agreement with my situation. Just like clamping down


The Daemon in Finite Play: A Spiritual Argument For Gridiron Football

The Daemon in Finite Play: A Spiritual Argument For Gridiron Football

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. In the morning I will give thanks for all my blessings as I drive to my parents’ house. In the evening I will carve a massive turkey for my family and family friends (my Dad’s a vegetarian.) But in between those two events, with much gratitude and glee, I will watch men in hard plastic helmets smash into each other while trying to move an oblong hunk of leather across a three hundred feet of turf.

I consider myself to be a sensitive, spiritually-minded man. And I love football. This seems to make me an anomaly.

Over the last few years of feeling-based study I’ve interacted with hundreds of men who I can roughly generalize in the sensitive-spiritual category. This group ranges from everyone ranging from energy-healers, shamans, and level 5 vegans to men who have a simple interest in spiritual development or some form of authentic-relating. Out of all these men, I’ve only met one who liked football.

I met him a few weeks ago in Pittsburgh. He likes the Steelers. I overhead his girlfriend saying “He’s such a conscious and sensitive man. I can’t believe he cares about football.”

On the other end, the guys who I grew up with watching football, “bros” and those similar, don’t give a blink about conscious spiritual development.

In investigating what causes this divide we need to look at what the game of American Gridiron Football is...


The Greatest Sex Technique That Can Only Be Used Once

The Greatest Sex Technique That Can Only Be Used Once

(repost from 2013)

His eyes squint to sharpen his focus on the conversation. "So what is good sex to you then?" he says.

"It's where both partners are in such a state of connection that any and every contact floods your whole body with electricity" I say. "Even her hand on you knee with clothes on can send you into involuntary trembling."

"Um, ok. So how do I do that?" he asks.

"I mean, there's nothing I can just tell you to do. You have to be able to feel."

"But c'mon. Everyone's got moves. Every woman I've slept with had her moves. Like 'Oh, she's doing that tongue thing again...' "

"Yes and a person develops 'a move' when they spontaneously do something that gets a great response. Then they try to replicate the response by replicating the move whether or not it actually works. When you sensitize yourself you learn to feel the resonant action in every moment, so it's like you're creating new 'move' in every moment."

Let's talk about sex. But first, on "How to Make a Wine Glass Sing"...