005 Bez Stone: Styles of Attachment

Bez is sexuality educator who had a brilliant TED talk on female orgasm. She also recently shared a series of posts about intimacy regarding moving in with her boyfriend.

I know this because I just moved in with my girlfriend and she keeps sending me Bez's posts. Bez and I speak about how attachment styles play out when you get intimate with someone.

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Attraction by Instinct (ELITE MAN PODCAST)

Guest appearance on The Elite Man Podcast:

(Click on the image to listen on

(Click on the image to listen on

I speak with Elite Man founder Justing Stenstrom Attraction by Instinct. 

Summary (taken from

  • How Ruwan became a sexuality and men’s coach and the struggles he had earlier on in his life
  • How he got good with women at first but why it felt really weird after a while
  • The fact that when Ruwan switched over to having more of a natural game he not only had better success but also was much happier
  • Why having empathy is one of the most important tools to have in your dating and sexual life
  • Why we all have a built in mechanism for reading women and how to use it the right way
  • How to use your instincts and when to trust them
  • How to get in touch with your body and your movements and how this translates into being more aware with women
  • How to escalate with women quickly and effortlessly
  • How to be more sexual with women and consequently be more into the women you meet
  • How to get women to actually approach you
  • Being in touch with your desires and expressing this to women
  • How to become more balanced with your masculine and feminine sides and why this is so important
  • Why Ruwan and I both love hanging out with women even without sex on the table
  • How to have a better sex life right away
  • Having sex that both you and your partner completely enjoy
  • Understanding a woman’s anatomy and the basics of good sex